Today I want to talk a bit about meditation and dissociation. Recently, I had surgery done on my foot, which required me to be homebound for a week. Check out my last post for details. For the first few days I just rested, took things easy, and allowed my body the space it needed to heal. But, by the fifth day I started to get pretty sore and restless. Sitting on the couch for several days sounds nice but has consequences for our bodies and minds. So, on the fifth day, I decided to spend some time meditating and doing some mild, restorative yoga. My body desperately needed the movement and my mind needed the grounding and calm. However, something very interesting happened when I sat and began to calm my mind.
As I settled in to begin a guided mediation (shout out to Headspace!) and closed my eyes to turn my awareness inward, I noticed that my mind was going to be way more difficult to quiet than normal. The few days of going under sedation, having my foot cut open, sitting, and taking several medications left my mind feeling loose and floaty. The body-awareness I once had seemed to have disappeared.